I hope this blog finds everyone well !
Here we are at my due date … and well I won’t lie for months and months there have been many moments I have wished this pregnancy away, well more less just wanted it to be over. Living with chronic pain with nothing that truly helps it go away is tough. I knew it would be this way and I knew it would be hard but there were more moments than I would like to admit that involved such discouragement and huge feelings of being down. I really thought I wouldn’t reach the finish line some days. Having a supportive family and husband and being able to rest lots has been huge! I am feeling so proud now about going thru it all again.. and here I am on my due date.. and I am like what!!? Really? Already!? I am sooo excited to meet this baby!!
Levi is still a baby in so many ways it’s hard to predict how he will handle this, the reality of having three babes to give my attention to is really sinking in and has me thinking.. how will this work!? I keep reminding myself that I ran a family daycare for six years and I watched seven children every day and I did it, and I think I did a good job at it.. but sleep deprivation is a real thing.. and Levi at almost two years old barley even sleeps thru the night! Doug reminds me often about how lovely and playful I normally am and how much energy I typically have- growing a human is no joke.. it’s a lot of work!! I can’t wait for things like making the bed, bending down to pick up toys to be easy again. And I know my boys can’t wait for me to be able to wrestle, run and play chase again! I got Doug to snap a few photos of the boys and I, in basically the most natural state possible! They are both obsessed with blowing raspberries on my belly, saying ” hi baby” and lifting up my shirt. It is so sweet growing a new life. Also the boys barley wear clothes around the house it seems, any given chance Levi says ” shirt off” or “no pants” and wes just strips down and loves roaming in his underwear!
Anyways I am really soaking up these days of nesting, resting and hanging with these sweet boys of mine. They are my greatest joy even on the hardest days! The little bursts of energy and feelings of excitement are really great now as I am making my way to the finish line here ! Some of you may know that our house is for sale and we were hoping to have it all sold and sorted out before baby arrived but the universe isn’t working like that for us right now. At first we were really discouraged, having open houses back to back along with showings which all involve keeping the house spotless with two littles is tough! On top of that we have been receiving no offers and here I am feeling sore.. tired and well, still pregnant!! We are lucky to have friends and family close by that we can go see to kill time while people look at our home. The market for houses is so slow in our area so we have no clue when our home will sell, but we are taking a step back to enjoy the arrival of this sweet new baby and allow our family some time to adjust to our new normal!
Love these boys so much! And I can’t wait to watch this amazing man become a daddy yet again! So hard to believe this little guy in my arms will be a big brother !! The one thing I am not as anxious about is when baby will arrive. When I was pregnant with Weston and Levi approaching my due date and then being a week over due was serious torture. Everyone keeps asking if baby is here and you keep thinking every day… is today the day!!? This time I have already been telling myself (from the moment we found out that we were expecting) that I will be a week late and that baby will come when baby is ready! I also haven’t been anxious about the gender during any of my pregnancies, I truly want a healthy baby and that’s all that matters to me! I am really wanting to labour and deliver at home if possible. My last two births didn’t work out for me to do so but I am putting out as much positive energy to have this baby at home. One of the biggest reasons and motivations for this is for Weston and Levi. Having me leave for two days or more days I think will be tough on them. Recently at our friends farm Weston and Levi ( mind you I don’t think the little guy had a clue what was going on) got to witness a calf being born, and it was so sweet. Weston was right in there with Melissa trying to help any way he could and he wasn’t scared at all. It made me realize how much we shelter children and how much we leave out for them to see! When in reality birth is so natural, amazing and beautiful! Weston is so into nature and animals and understands how babies are born and I think it’s wonderful how receptive he is to it. Recently he said to me (prior to speaking about birth with him) ” mommy they are going to cut the baby out” I immediately stopped in my tracks and was thinking why would he think this? Where has he heard this!? He had come up with his own scenario about how the baby would be born in his own imaginative way. I explained that the baby would come out of my vagina – he shrieked in excitement and awe and said “WhAttttt? That’s weird !! Doug and I just about died in laughter, it was seriously the cutest moment. But he talks about it often now and tells me how excited he is! I love his curiosity at this age!
Now, pulling out our bassinet again and maybe for the last time is so special. I still reminisce about bringing both our boys home from the hospital and placing them in there, remembering their smell, little noises and sweet sweet faces. I know this road of parenthood we are on won’t be easy with three kids in tow and it will have really tough days, but we are ready to take it on. I feel like I have been put on this earth to be a mom and one of three children for that matter! Having a partner that feels the same and enjoys parenthood as much as myself really keeps us strong as a family! We both can’t wait for all our adventures together as a family of five!! I feel incredibly blessed.
To our sweet baby who we have yet to meet yet, we love you so much already and we can’t wait to hear your first cries, see your beautiful eyes and feel your warmth. I just know you will be amazing and a wonderful addition to our family!
Oh my goodness the newborn diapers get me every time!!
Thanks to everyone who has helped us out over these last few months either with a meal, listening to me vent or simply messaging me asking how I have been doing, the love has been felt big time!